Heartless

Can I just say something? *chuckles contently because there is no one to refuse her* Ever since I can remember I've heard "Love Hurts"..from my mother, television, poorly written love songs, cheesy romantic comedies and just about everywhere I turn. But, I hadn't realized that, at least in my case, love is so damn confusing that it doesn't even have the time to hurt you.. I mean sure, a few scrapes and scuffs here and there, but nothing major. Then again, I'm almost positive that due to my age, I just may not have been awoken by the pain that everyone blames on one's own personal choices in their love life and simply cannot fully relate. But besides that, (and I'm going to sound like SUCH a teenager here, so bare with me) I want to know who the hell decided that to have a friend who is perfectly compatible with you, attractive to you, and who's personality fits perfectly with your own (because, that's a best friend for ya!) AND is also of the opposite sex was a good idea! WHO?! That is just too hard. I mean, come on.. this myth has got me in such a predicament. I mean , here I am torn between the attraction between us and the almost brother/sister relationship we have; gross right? And I still can't seem to find anyone that comes close to being nearly as perfect for myself as my best friend. Yeah, it sucks.. but I won't be thrown into these stereotypes.. no friendzone for me. I refuse to let this hurt me any further.. I just can't afford to lose a friend over something as stupid as my heart. Because that is seriously what that little pump in the left crevice of our chest is; stupid. And that stupid little thing, ladies and gents, just might be my undoing. And I'm scared. Just call me Ms. Heartless from now on, oh imaginary friends:) It'll be easier that way! Anyways.. much love xxx -M

Human

So today I was wondering.. why is it that people let others rule their own lives?  Now, I know this sounds like a total rant, but since no one is really around to read it, I'll write it anyways. But seriously, I can't remember one single person that hasn't showed that they need the approval of someone else, be it family member, friend or peers, to live the way they do. Why though? Your life and your choices will lead to YOUR fate right? and your destiny.. bla bla bla, ( I know, I sound like a bad sci-fi movie) So, if these people whom we so desperately seek attention from are irrelevant to our life's path, then why the hell should we care if they like our hairstyle, or boyfriend, or smoking habit, or anything we do! Why should we let them influence us the way they do? I really have no idea, but as I sit in front of this computer and contemplate this, I can't help but realize that maybe the sudden urge to write this post and ask these questions (to no one) may be a result of my sudden epiphany. I am SUCH a hypocrite. I go around telling people that they should live the way THEY want to and to do what THEY want to do, but I still ask myself stupid questions like: Will they like it? Will he think I'm stupid? What would my friends say? Yes, it is true. I care what people think, what people say.. but I can't help it, I'm human. Which is just about the most confusing thing their is in this world. And I won't promise to stop, because I can't. Much love xxx -M